Heart of the Poet

Hello. If you have not been living on a desolate island the past few years (if so, damn you are lucky) you know that whew, we are living in quite strange and miraculous times.

What is real anymore? Is the question I find myself asking most days. Living in a world fraught with A.I., technology, “spiritual” gurus and the over analyzing, linear world of psychology, it seems that many of us have been taught that in order to live a fulfilling life, we somehow have to get rid of our humanity. All over the internet you can find information about the “right” way to shit, sleep, have sex, make art, meditate. The answer to all your problems lives in this morning routine! Or, just do this meditation for 30 days and watch your life entirely transform!

I want to vom when I see this stuff now. Anyone else? Like, where are the real poets of the soul, the true artists, the ones who are so beautifully, devastatingly human?

Now there’s nothing wrong with morning routines, meditation, or spirituality…but there is something really fishy and sinister about the underlying current as of late of constantly having to fix, analyze, make meaning of, or control our lives and ourselves…basically…we are being taught that we must fix, avoid, deny, and repress our humanity at all costs. And I personally, am exhausted by the linear narratives that say life, and my sheer, raw humanness, is something to be tamed or controlled, is a problem that needs solving, or is something that I can manifest my way out of.

Months ago, I had the realization that my shitstorm of a childhood and my struggle with addiction and abusive relationships, my very real past rife with trauma and abuse and mental illness in my family, etc. was not something that would just stop affecting me if I could only just commit myself to a certain practice, type of therapy, or wake up at 5 am and meditate for 4 hours. I realized that the very practices I was engaging in, I was doing so from a place of “if I could just rid myself of my grief and anger and sadness and sorrow, then I will be ok” so basically what I was telling myself was “your brokenness is not ok, definetly not very high vibe of you, and needs fixing.”

and to that I now say…what a bold faced lie.

Then I began to ask myself…what if my brokenness was actually the portal to my own liberation? I mean, I write songs and poems about it all the time. But what if, not in spite of my brokenness but actually inside the belly of it, held the key to my power? What if instead of trying to escape my grief or gut wrenching sorrow I instead turned towards it, related to it, and decided to consciously drink it as a form of my own homeopathic remedy?

That, my friends, is called drinking the poison and realizing that all along it was really the medicine you have been seeking. Creation from sheer fucking destruction. Solve et coagula.

Heres the truth. What if, it is actually within your humanity and your broken heart and your soppy wet grief and your angsty longings and your unbridled sorrow, is where the seat of your power was?

What if, in order to create a wildly fulfilling life, you did not have to first rid yourself of everything that makes you so imperfectly human?

What if, instead of trying to manifest away your pain, you decided to simply dance with it, sing to it, and write kickass, heartbreaking poems from that place?

What kind of freedom would you feel to just say fuck it, my childhood was fucked, my heart is shattered, but I am done trying to wish it away! I am going to be brave and walk into it ALL head on and am determined to create gold from this heaping pile of shit. I am going to be so human it hurts!!!

Look. I don’t sell get rich quick schemes, morning routines, or promises that after 3 months with me you will have manifested your dreams. But what I am offering you, is an initiation back into your Heart. A permission slip to feel, own, and honor more of your humanity and let me tell you, that is invaluable.

To take the poison you have been given, and alchemize it into your own form of medicine, just as I have done for myself. I believe this is the most powerful thing one can offer themselves.. Why? Because transformation happens when you actually turn towards your wounds, not run away from your bleeding out gushing heart and call it being “spiritual.”

I teach you to make art from your pain, not to manifest it away. Cause if it’s there, it’s gonna be there whether you like it or not so may as well start creating an actual relationship with it.

And further, in these soulless times, is vital to gather in community to empower one another, own our gifts, and fully, truly, reaallllllyyy live our purpose as the unstoppable forces of sovereignty, creativity, and power that we are. It’s time to be the forces of nature that we know ourselves to be deep down. No more time for letting procrastination, self doubt, comparison, or our fears run the show. There is only time for putting our heads down, turning every heaping pile of shit into gold, sharing our art and liberating ourselves in ways that our mind says is impossible.

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Hear me out. You are going to die! That’s a fact. And you can either go out peacefully, knowing that you squeezed every last bit of juice out of your one precious life…knowing that you went absolutely all out like some insane poetic maniac for what you love…knowing that you sacrificed every single thing that was not a true reflection of who you are for your dreams…knowing that you loved deeply and wildly and lived as much as humanely possible from the truth of who you are, from your heart. Imagine the satisfaction. The fulfillment! Imagine the potential excitement and curiosity of dying when you live with that much conviction in the truth of who you are…like…ok I am leaving here with a sense of total completion and fulfillment.

LiNow