7 am thoughts:
i do not understand why i continue to trust my own desires above God’s.
like i know better!
i have tasted life without. i have willingly danced with death over and over.
are You loving? are You listening?
He tells me yes but i haven’t really believed- have i?
God offers me life to the full yet this sounds great until i am faced with looking in the mirror.
still i choose to cling on to what is comfortable to me like a magnet.
what do I do when that fleeting feeling of safety runs out?
i run from one thing to the next.
God isn’t a safety net for me that’s convenient when I get tired or scared.
i don’t want that to be my story.
i want to choose Life no matter how i feel. feelings are waves. here one minute, gone the next.
there is a veil over my eyes and I ask God to remove it: but i realize it is usually me, with white knuckles, grasping this net of death, sin and deception
disguised as pleasure and comfort
so tightly and i hear God asking me, whispering to me that it’s time to let it go.