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when it all seems bad

“life happens for you-not to you.”

i heard this quote and thought about my life thus far. hmmm. 

it has consisted of mess + beauty. joy + sorrow. happiness + sadness. doors shutting, doors swinging wide open. waiting, time moving fast, slow, uncomfortableness, being comfortable, seasons of loving community and seasons of loneliness. love + the lack thereof.

life consists of good and bad. sometimes really good, and sometimes really, really bad. and painful.

as i have gotten older, i have come to the awareness of this-i really do not want the bad. at all. i resist the bad like none other. i want life to be comfortable. full of laughter and joy and people that encourage me and support me and love me well at all times.

i have fought against the bad-refused to accept it. i don’t want to feel this way. i don’t want this to be happening. i want happiness. i don’t want to suffer. “consider it pure joy?” yuck.

not being aware that the “bad” really isn’t bad at all, after all.

life happens for you, not to you.

but everything? 

i think back to some of the most painful times of my life-when i was little-hearing my dad yell and throw things and cuss and my mom cry. not knowing when my dad was going to come home next, if ever. feeling invisible. when i was used and devastated by that boy that i loved-door shut. times of intense loneliness. times of intense depression, sadness.

though they hurt like hell, all of these instances have one thing in common: God was in the midst, and i learned something. i came out stronger. i grew. 

i grew because i hurt. i grew because i was uncomfortable. i grew because i was at my wits end and turned to Jesus, who strengthened my heart and lifted my weary head. I am now thankful for those painful times.

you see, the “bad” shouldn’t really even be called bad. everything that happens in life happens for us. the pain. the suffering. is all for us. we can learn and grow from every single experience that we have-if we only choose to view it that way.

it’s all good, really. every experience is for our good. everything that comes our way is for our good. everything. 

i must learn to accept dark times. to not resist them, to know that without darkness, there is no light. how would we even know what light is without darkness?

i must learn to accept pain, suffering, difficulties as they come- and open my eyes to what God may be saying to me through them-or else i will miss it. 

what you resist, persists. what you accept and let pass through you and tune your heart and mind to the lessons behind-this-this turns into something good.

everything that happens, happens for us.

if that is true, then, are there really any negatives in life?

this is for each of us to decide.



“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur

when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.

For it is only in such moments,

propelled by our discomfort,

that we are likely to step out of our ruts

and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

m scott peck; “the road less traveled”

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