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rejection + our authentic selves

i know this feeling all too well. the tears come, then the pit in my stomach. i know this feeling. rejection.

it sucks, doesn’t it? it burns. it hurts.

we ask ourselves-why didn’t he like me? was i not enough? was i too much? what happened? we analyze. was it something i said, did? something i wore, maybe? is it just me? am i just not good enough?

the truth is, none of these fears are truth. some people just don’t like us. and frankly, maybe we are too loud for them. or maybe we do wear things that they think are weird or they are annoyed by our sense of humor or they think we are boring.

but who we are-is who we are. if who you are is loud, then girlfriend be be freakin’ loud. if who you are is someone who is highly emotional, then cry and let your feelings flow. if who you are asks a lot of questions, then ask every single question you can think of. and ask it again.

be who you are- because who you are- is and always will be good enough. 

 and really, some people just aren’t a part of our destiny. and this has NOTHING-i repeat-nothing to do with us-with who we are.

we do not need anyones validation or approval. 

hiding our authentic selves for approval and acceptance from others is NOT worth it. 

Processed with VSCO with m5 preset
Processed with VSCO with m5 preset

every time i have talked to a man i have run to my mom with my fears. i will say something along the lines of “but what if he thinks I’m too much because I ask too many questions?” or “what if he thinks thats annoying and that i talk too much?”

my mom will always say, “if who emma is, is someone who does those things, and he doesn’t like you, then he is not the man for you. be who you are.”

but we don’t want to be rejected. we want to be desired, wanted. i have had a couple of instances in my life where i have tried to fit myself into a box in order to get attention from a guy. i have been embarrassed by my tattoos and the way i dress because i felt that it didn’t “fit in” with him. i have tried to intricately position myself into his life, his world-made myself the “type of girl” that he would be interested in, in order to be wanted by him.

ok, emma-don’t talk a lot tonight at dinner-even though you love to talk. you don’t want to annoy him.

what an empty life! i felt as though i was in a literal prison. trapping my authentic self to gain a false sense of security and to have a fleeting moment of feeling wanted. it was miserable.

at some point i had enough. my heart was screaming to be set free. God convicted me. i put a stake in the ground and said screw this. 

i’m learning to be myself and to go where i am celebrated by people. if someone cannot handle how many questions i ask- i don’t need to change. if someone cannot handle how “sensitive” i am- OK. if someone can’t handle how up front and direct and open i am- sorry. i need to politely let go of that person and move right along. I am accepted by God. i don’t need to fit into anyones box of what a person should be like because i do not need anyone’s validation and approval.

and neither do you. God knitted us together-every inch, every quirk. it is all beautiful. we have to let it out. we can no longer afford to get validation at the expense of who we truly are.

hiding our authentic selves for attention and approval is NOT worth it. let your true self flow and live and breath and play. let her out. she wants out. you are already accepted and desired and loved.

if people cannot accept you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

if people cannot accept you-frankly-you didn’t need them in the first place. there is no use losing sleep over this anymore. let rejection usher you into a deeper relationship and connection with God and with your inner self. and sister, move along. 

 

 

(photo credits: Asia Raine Photography)

 

 

 

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