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comparison

I doubt I’m the first to admit that at times I find myself spending time mindlessly scrolling through my phone and comparing myself to others. instagram. facebook. snapchat. picking apart someone else’s life. then picking apart my own life.

“look at her arms..” “she’s so tiny..” “oh wow, she’s beautiful.” I look in the mirror and picture myself looking like one of the airbrushed models on Instagram. I want to be them.

i compare and i want to be them, to be someone else so badly that it makes my head spin. it makes me unable to see myself and my life with a clear perspective.

comparison doesn’t just happen on social media. I recently started doing Crossfit. it is great, and I love how it strengthens and challenges me. yet, even when I am in a class, I catch my mind comparing my ability and appearance to other girls.

i compare and it kills the way that I see and feel about myself. actually, it destroys it. i have noticed when I find myself comparing, it is rooted out of fear. fear that I will never be as good or as desirable as the person I am comparing to. praise God that His “perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18.

i am currently reading a book titled “blue like jazz” by Donald Miller. in it, he states: “I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time.”

this could not be more true in my life. comparing myself to other girls on social media, or wherever, is a waste of time. a huge, ginormous, stupid waste of my precious time.  Satan takes advantage of this in order to thwart and twist my thoughts. he uses it to attack my identity. to make me believe that I am not worthy-that I am unloveable and unwanted and am lesser than because I don’t look a certain way and have broad shoulders.

john 10:10 states “the enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

satan is out to steal, kill, and destroy. Jesus gives life abundantly. the next time you and I compare ourselves to another human, let us call it for what it is, repent, and sprint in the opposite direction. let us love our bodies because God stitched every bit of them together. let us trust Him in that, and be kind to ourselves. we have lived a long time and been through a lot.

i listened to a podcast a couple days ago where an Olympic athlete was talking about her struggle with comparison. she said if we spoke negatively and said hurtful things to other people, they would obviously become upset and get their feelings hurt. the same is true with the way we speak to ourselves! we don’t (hopefully) go around shaming others and telling them they aren’t good enough. so why do we do it to ourselves?

lets be gentle to ourselves and speak to ourselves in love. instead of shaming or wishing we were different, let’s speak words of thankfulness over our bodies.

“God thank you for giving me legs that can run and walk and play. they are capable of so much!”

“God, thank you for my arms. they can lift heavy things and hug someone who is hurting.”

“thank you for my smile. it brings others around me joy and can brighten someone’s day.”

comparison is not our portion. self loathing and self hatred is not our portion. fear is not our portion. we ARE enough. we ARE desirable. we have scars and freckles and stretch marks and thinning hair and pimple because we are human, and we are beautiful as is. you are of the highest value to God, as you are. perfection is an illusion. Jesus is the only perfect person that walked earth.

you and I, lets not waste any more time. lets love our bodies, stop comparing, get off of social media, and rest in the truth that God is a good father, that He can be trusted, and that we are LOVED, flaws and all. let’s make more room for Love. as we do, comparison runs out of space.

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